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Mabel's Journal
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Date:2002-04-08 07:07
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happy birthday adrienne

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Date:2002-03-29 14:53
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boooooooooring. it's spring break. woot! get poon! hrm. well curran is coming to pick me up now, i tried to make a tape on my tape player and was thoroughly unsuccessful. because i am an idiot. hence the going to currans. we are going to get high i think i think i hope haven't been in a while. and it's spring break so why not eh? i have to stay at his house while he has his guitar lesson i'll be making a tape then.

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Date:2002-03-22 14:55
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Mood: relieved

saw atom and his package last night. was super cool. my mom was like golly gosh gee you've been to a lot of shows and i don't think i've been to that many but i think i'll sort it out, eh?

*Pennywise, Unwritten Law, Long Beach Dub All Stars-The Palace, summer 1999
*Korn-march 2000
#Staind (i actually fell asleep during their set!)
*No Doubt-Universal Ampitheatre, april 2000
#The Suicide Machines (he let me sing a verse on permanent holiday)
#Fishbone
*No Doubt-Irvine Meadows Ampitheatre, august 2000
#Black Eyed Peas
#Lit
#one other band (i think) but i can't remember
*Dance Hall Crashers-House of Blues Anaheim, march 2001
#Death On Wednesday
#Limp
*Reel Big Fish/Goldfinger-The Sun Theatre, august 2001
#The Riddlin Kids
#The Movielife
#Homegrown
*The Eels-The Roxy, august 2001
#a mime/performance art guy and i never caught his name
*Save Ferris-The Glass House, august 2001
#No Motiv
#Something with like Thursday or something in the name, and another band with the guy from Homegrown playing guitar
*Save Ferris-The El Rey, september 2001
#some band playing when we came in
#Tsunami Bomb
#Ozma
*Marilyn Manson-The Grand Olympic Auditorium, october 2001
*Goldfinger-The Glass House, december 2001
#I think No Motiv
#another bad band
#another bad band. i dont' remember though.
*Reel Big Fish, Holiday Benefit Show-House of Blues, Anaheim, december 2001
#zebrahead
#handsome devil
#lit (they were headlining but they can suck my fuckin dick.)
*Dance Hall Crashers-House of Blues, Hollywood, january 2002
#Death On Wednesday
#i don't know
#i don't know
*Reel Big Fish-House of Blues, Hollywood february 2002
#goodness i can't remember
#ditto
*Goldfinger-House of Blues, anaheim february 2002
#No Motiv
#Sluggo
#Good Charlotte (oh my goodness they're so bad. and all these girls were there for like four hours to be in the front of the line but they're stupid and i still got in before them. and they didn't even play it was just two of them playing acoustic. how stupid. they were really bad.)
*Atom and His Package
#Thee Makeout Party
#The Kids of Widney High
#AM/FM
i thought i would remember all the supporting bands but i guess not. this was pointless anyway.

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Date:2002-03-20 07:24
Subject:but its too late now...
Security:Public

i had a terrible dream. i was in jail, but i was a boy and in like a 18th century day and i was wearing britches and i kept writing letters and writing letters and they wouldn't give me a candle to see with but they would give me wax with which to seal my letters. and i was there for like a week. and then i got out. and everybody was joking with him about some girl giving him head and we went to the beach and i asked him and he said yeah, (we'll call her l) i did it with her. all week while i was in jail. and i finally knew what it felt like, i knew what i did, and i just wanted to curl up and die. i thought i understood before, but now i did. and it didn't help that all these people were constantly coming up to us and talking to him about it and i didn't know whether they were together or not and i was so confused and i ran up the hill by the beach and stole his moms car and left. then i woke up and cried. i was so sad. it's not so much that everything is going wrong but i cant' get in the right frame of mind and i try to tell him how i feel and he seems to understand for a little bit but then he says the same thing and he thinks its about him, but its not about him at all. he doesn't listen to that. but supposedly that's typical, but it's having a bad effect. he thinks if someone else came along this problem wouldn't be in the way. i don't know how to tell him that that's not true. i get so upset and he just keeps saying it. and it's so selfish, and then i feel selfish for calling him selfish and what if it's all my fault? i'm so confused. wish i didn't have to be so cryptic, want a new journal.

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Date:2002-03-19 21:02
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Mood: crushed

i don't know what to do. i like someone i'm not supposed to like, being that it's a friend. we'll call them x. how mysterious. i guess i've liked x for a while, but i just realized it, cause i was feeling weird. and when the idea popped into my head, it was so foreign and i just dismissed it as some passing thought but then i considered it more and i started crying. because it's not supposed to be this way. there are plenty of people i could like that would set me up for rejection. but x is the ultimate. the grandpappy of all rejection. it could never happen. but i can't even get rejected because i will never ever have the balls to ask x unless x shows some interest first, and i am pretty aware of the fact that that is never going to happen. because x showing interest would take a big leap of faith on their part also. and i'm so sad because it could be so great, it could be the most wonderful thing in the whole world, but it can't. it can never be. it's not like romeo and juliet, because at least they knew they liked each other. and i just want to cry. with x it's something different altogether, like it's all parts mental and emotional, and physical anything hasn't ever come into my mind. but it's such a different level. i feel so cheesy saying x, as if i'm in some superhero movie or something. am i being blatantly obvious? i'm afraid i am and x knows who they are. i can't help feeling anything but sad, because i can tell this has been building for a while, and it has nowhere to go.

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Date:2002-03-19 16:03
Subject:i never have a title because i'm not clever
Security:Public

so like, whoa. my life is a series of uneventful days, but whose fault is that. it's not so bad, i'm satisfied. drinking a peach smoothie and i'm about to watch everyone says i love you. having no homework is great. getting it done early is even better because then i don't have to get myself involved in stupid conversations about what a big procrastinator i am. i used to be, like whoa. not anymore, thank goodness. i need a picture to go on this thing, i dont' want to steal one from somebody and i don't know where to find one that's the right size. i am getting a new dresser, my dad is making it, and i also found out that he has a friend that makes wrought iron headboards and since you know, they're buddy buddy, i could get one for cheap. woot! so i'm getting a queen bed with a cool headboard. asked curran to design it. getting a tattoo. considering it, don't know where i would get it. i don't think its something i would regret, it would either be the initials a.w. on like my head/the start of my neck behind my ear, or adrienne on my wrist. a wrist is so obvious though, and the name wouldn't look good written out there. where else would a name look good written out where it's not obvious? cause tattoos are nice but i want it to be something htat means something to me and isn't like HERE I AM!!! ya know? my dad's here. can't write anymore. but this is far from over.

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Date:2002-03-18 19:19
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okay so i like the new layout of my journal but the colors dont' change. i am eating cinnamonsugar toast with the crusts cut off. i read some of primavera, but i am just finally getting around to reading the rest of it. how exciting. a semi-eventful weekend, not eventful enough to go into great detail about. went to santa monica, finished to kill a mockingbird. atom and his package this thursday. i don't know what to expect.

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Date:2002-03-10 13:15
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may have a picnic today. right now though i'm waiting for curran drinking iced tea i was reading a tale of two cities and i really like it. it's my favorite book i've read for school all year. but i mean we had old man and the sea and the odyssey. there's no contest. i'm gonna make cookies but it might be quite an uneventful day. i want to rent kids. i've never seen it. and i bought this tori amos ep last night and i was all looking forward to listening to it but i found out this morning that they didn't put the cd in the case at the store. bummer so i have to go back and get it. and i was going to get this pj harvey cd but then i saw an atom and his package cd at the counter and got that instead but then i realized that i would have rather had the pj harvey cd. i have funky impulses. then i got some black cherry ice cream that was buy one get one free so curran got one also. for free! how novel. i need to make a new mix tape, here's the tentative setlist. comments/suggestions are awesome, especially for the bands that i don't know what song to use yet. and it's funny, with me and my old friend siobhan and my friend william, we all make good mixtapes but then somehow, there's always got to be the obligatory ace of base song. haha. and yeah i could make cds sure all the cool kids are doing it but for some reason i can't let go. is there some sort of program to help me?
dance hall crashers-truly comfortable
nirvana-been a son
suicide machines-it's the end of the world as we know it
reel big fish-gigantic
goldfinger-counting the days
verbena-depression is a fashion
silverchair-paint pastel princess
blondie-the tide is high
marilyn manson-get my rocks off
buck-o-nine-swimming in sand
the beatles-maxwell's silver hammer
operation ivy-sound system
atom and his package-using the metric system
the hippos-paulina
nin-the perfect drug
hole-gutless
pixie's-nimrod's son (curran told me this but he's not sure if that is the name of the song. i don't know what cd it's on)
pink floyd-money
smashing pumpkins-cherub rock
no doubt-something off beacon street, don't know what
mealticket-don't really know song names of theirs, but adore them
save ferris-under 21 (maybe...eh. want to find something better)
homegrown-first song on that one cd with the flowers on the boat
a perfect circle-magdalena
the eels-cancer for the cure
L7-?
blind melon-?
ace of base-young and proud
tori amos-smells like teen spirit or somewhere over the rainbow
queen-?
weezer-something off pinkerton
primus-somethign off sailing the seas of cheese
bjork-something off vespertine
hrm. what else? i don't know if all of this will fit. we'll see. i always have too many songs. maybe some garbage? something off their new cd even though it takes a little getting used to.
now for the problem i do'nt have a tape player that works so whenever mix tapes are desired a trip to currans is necessary but also it requires that we're not really doing anything, so i can sit around and make a tape. even watching a movie isn't good cause i keep having to get up. you know i haven't roller skated in a long time i want to go to a roller rink. someone take me. i have no money. that is a lie. i have some money but it is insavings i have a clay piggy bank with a hole for me to put money in it but no hole for me to take money out. it's so great. so i have to smash it when i want the money. i'm gonna be rich. yeehaw. but i need a job. my e-bay obsession is getting out of hand. i've got so much cool stuff coming in the mail. damn this boy takes forever. DOES ANYBODY WANT ME TO MAKE THEM A MIXTAPE?

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Date:2002-03-03 12:39
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went to melrose yesterday got some cool dresses one red and gray and brownish plaids with a little white bowtie and a belt, the other red with pleats on the bottom thick and it makes me look curvy. also a knee length green skirt with pink and white flowers all over. got a ring with a real seahorse in it, curran wanted it but i saw it first. almost got this real antique bamboo opium pipe but i'll go back for it. watering flowers for my mom (makin money makin money i need a job i think i'm going to get applications sometime this week) then going to currans. found spiderman temporary tattoos in my poptarts, absolutely made my day :o) gonna put one on, but where? still reading choke cause i only read it on the weekends, it's wonderful. bought a slow gherkin cd yesterday, before that only had them on compilations. tony might come out here over summer and go to warped tour with me and he's trying to tell me that he's coming for real this time and it's just like last year though so i don't want to get my hopes up. won these cute et sheets on e-bay, painting my dresser this week hopefully somy rooms comin along...we'll see.

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Date:2002-02-27 19:10
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i had two ferrets once when i was younger. a few years ago, i got them from my uncle, one boy and one girl. the boy was brown and his name was raider. the girl was albino with red eyes and she was named snow. she was a bit wily but still great. i gave them back to my uncle because i was younger and i couldn't handle them. but now i want another one. just one. doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. but also, it's hard to get one because they are illegal in california. my uncle's friend might still have a few, and she might know where i could get one. she's an animal rescue lady. i should talk to her. i also want a chinchilla and a sugar glider. but seriously. ferrets are the best. like whoa.

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Date:2002-02-20 16:17
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woo it's like christmas, or, erm, my birthday. i'm sick sick sick, but stuff keeps comin in the mail. ariana got me choke, by chuck palahniuk, and yesterday the kurt cobain biography came. today i got the reel big fish video! yeehaw...tavis is on it which just makes me miss him even more

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Date:2002-02-18 21:36
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ooh i'm so excited. i offered up my copy of ecstasia today and i send it out to the first person tomorrow and then she's going to send it along. i'm so excited! i'm glad that i get to share it with everybody and i hope it's not too illegal. :o)
tomorrow i have to:
go to a swim meet. if i don't go golfing.
send out my boots to the girl on laundromatic.
send out ecstasia.
cash money order and get another money order.
bake a cake.
IT's MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, WOOT! i went bowling tonight at jerry's famous deli. i haven't been bowling since i think my fifth birthday party. i actually threw the ball backwards. i didn't think that really happened. i'm such a moron. but i mean, it's not really saying much about you if you're a good BOWLER, you know? it was fun though. i tried to steal the shoes and my mom got mad. cause i already have bowling shoes. i have a busy day, especially since i don't know how i'm going to get to all these places. busy day busy day i'm sick and i'm going to bed.

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Date:2002-02-17 16:20
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spent the night at williams got kicked out early so i went home and slept a lot there. had such a wonderful night though. i'm sick now. and my mom doesn't want me to go out, just like when i was eleven and stay home sick from school and she'd say "if you're too sick for school you're too sick for friends" or some corny stuff like that and i could never go out. i remember one time i just sneaked out my window to play with the kids across the street and my brother said he was going to tell so i hit him and that just made him tell. so it didn't help. then he tried asking me for a dollar and then he wouldn't tell but i was like what do i look like some kind of idiot? it was really funny though. i have to go make my bed. oh and in other bad news, there is a show with fishbone (fuckin fishbone!! i saw them with no doubt they're awesome), save ferris (the best show live) and DANCE HALL CRASHERS. it's ON MY BIRTHDAY, but it's in SLC utah. what the fuck?? man. i'm sad so sad i could cry. seriously. my mom said she didn't think we could get there and i knew it but it was worth a try to ask, right? golly. i wanna gooooooooooooooo.

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Date:2002-02-16 11:32
Subject:
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i had no doubt tickets but didnt buy them cause they weren't close enough to tickle my fancy. more and more though i am wishing i bought them and sold them on e-bay cause people are making so much money. i'm just greedy. but damn.

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Date:2002-02-12 14:28
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i'm on the golf team at school. i do not consider myself to be a good golfer. it is the off season, but i am getting pe credit by staying in the class as a study hall and going golfing on my own time. now this was all fine and dandy, until this one girl got it into her head that she wanted to be "team captain." we've never had a team captain. she would be the first. she made up a whole schedule, and i don't know how she managed, but she made it the most inconvenient schedule she could possibly make for everyone. i couldn't make any practices but one the first two weeks. then today i left my clubs at home and i asked her if she could take me home to go get them, right, and she says "no i don't have time for that." so she doens't have time for me, then i don't even want to go to her practices that she made and everybody else decided they don't want to either.i'll just go on my own. i want to rent a movie and make some muffins. eh?

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Date:2002-02-11 17:37
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had a day off from school today but worked to get a little extra money. 57 dollars to be exact. my dad wants to talk to us at dinner tonight and said curran couldn't be here, and i always figure the worst so i have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. but i think it's going to be okay. tomorrow is my dad's birthday too. i had a wonderful wonderful weekend. spent the night at williams, and had bagels in the morning with curran. i watched sid and nancy that night (saturday) and i am wondering what other movies i've seen nancy in. help cause it's really bugging me. i want to listen to the hippos. i won all this stuff on e-bay and i sent all the payments out so i should be getting all this cool stuff in the mail. i need to get my driver's license and next week is jam packed with stuff i don't want to do. i really would like to go golfing but this acting competition is really hindering that (i do costumes, god forbid i should attempt acting). my drama teacher is expecting me to come every day this week and i feel bad beacuse i had to miss a lot of golf next week and the competition is this saturday but i have an appointment at 1230 and the competition is an all day think but i made my appointment like a month ago. fuckin a. and i had plans to do something with someone i never see because we make plans but he ends up cancelling them for one reason or another and this time i'm going to have to cancel them so i guess if it's okay with him i'll say next week thursday? and there was this suit i was supposed to alter and i forgot to take it home over the weekend so i don't know what i'm going to do about that. i didn't even ask to do costumes for this thing so fuck him. gaaaaaaaaaaah. so i think i'm not going to go golfing this week except i have a lesson at 2:15 on thursday and so maybe i can do that and then my dad can drop me back off at school and i can either work on the play or go to his houise i don't know i don't know. i'm stressed out and shouldn't be. it's unneccessary.

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Date:2002-02-09 09:18
Subject:
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Mood:waking up

goldfinger was, yet again, wonderful, even despite good charlotte (no offense to anyone who likes them or went to the show just for them), who were terrible. okay so here's how it all went down. we get to my mom's work late because curran, is of course, taking the longest time in the world. so it takes like two hours to get to anaheim from my moms work. bummer. so we get there, and there's a big line and a small line. so we get in the small line cause that one looks nicer. then i finally get smart and ask what the difference is. the smaller line is if you have a dinner receipt. bummer. so we go to get in the big line. but the people that were in front of us in the small line were like no come on and they let us use their receipt. so they let the small line in before the big line. we were right up against the railing. i wore earplugs, which was good cause my ears didn't do that ringy thing when i hopped into bed. :o) but i took them out for goldfinger. ya know, out of respect. into the first song, the guy behind me was trying to get up to the front by putting his big ugly meaty hand on the railing. now, i understand that everyone back there wants to go up there and it's all good, i can hold my own, but i don't like my boobies pinched. but also, i didn't say anything so i wouldn't be that stereotypical girl. you know, "get your elbow out of my TIT! FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP I'M GONNA FUCKIN KICK YOUR ASS!" so the hand stayed there the whole time then another guy put his hand there and they were talkinga bout how they were going to get up to the front. then the people next to me left after good charlotte so i moved over and it was a little better. the hand was still there but it was in between me and curran and we knew no one would be getting in between us. and it was really funny cause the guy was talking about how he was going to get up there so curran and i started holding hands and we squished our hips together and kissed. i kissed in public. right now i'm waiting to buy no doubt tickets. they go on sale at ten. i couldnt get a ride to wherehouse, so i either have to do it on the computer or over the phone. i'll call and ask which is fastest. hrm. but so anyways. i was dead through like the first three bands. they were sluggo, who reminded me of cheap zebrahead (i don't even like zebrahead), no motiv, who we saw at the glasshouse with (i think) goldfinger, and good charlotte, who only brought the two lead singers and they sang acoustic. it was a hoot. then goldfinger took a year to set up, but it was so worth it. i asked some security guard before hand to help me up when mable played, but he didn't. i got up anyway. they played like fifteen songs, left, came back, played a song called fuck ted nugent, talked about how their album is coming out in april (just like reel big fish!) darrin pulled down his pants, stuck the top of a water bottle in his butt and drank out of it, then asked if anybody would do the same. someone in the middle a few rows back actually did it and i think it might have been a girl. then they played mable. i got up onstage, curran got up without my help, and i pulled some other guy up that we were talking to earlier. i think only when we left did the people behind us get up to the grating, and not even then, maybe. but they didn't get onstage. i ran around on stage fell down watched darrin drum felt like i was going to throw up then we went offstage and went in the pit for 99 red balloons. some guy told curran he had balls and i have a huge bruise on my thigh you cant see it yet but i can sure feel it. then we went upstairs to the anti-racist action booth and there is this really cool unity shirt that i want and then i went to this vegan booth and there was another really cool shirt i wanted that had two people in a car who were like ordering and getting their food at the drive in and the guy was saying something like "hey could you try ruining the rainforest quicker so we could get a faster hamburger?" and the way it said it on the shirt was probably a lot better than that. but then john (singer of goldfinger) came up to the booth and we talked to him he signed my ticket and i had him sign a card for tony and i told him that he needs to go to missouri. he said he was playing warped tour, which is so exciting cause reel big fish are also. i think i want to be in front for those two bands. and if the vandals are playing. woot! i'll work and get to as many dates as i can. then i asked john whether his roadie's name is three nut or three balls and he said three balls! despite everyone else saying that he was called three nuts and john had to think about it so i think we might have to ask the roadie himself. but he wasn't there. then we left john alone cause i felt like i was bugging him and we ran into kelly and talked to him and he said to me "oh yeah i saw you down there" cause i was right in front of him. then his girlfriend went into her purse looking for a pen and she's like "eyeliner, lipliner, another eyeliner, damn don't you hate that?" then another girl comes up and was like "oh do you need a pen? i've got one. oh no, that's eyeliner. no that's another eyeliner." it was so funny. but eventually he signed our tickets and tony's card and i was on my merry way. we went to sleep in the back of the car. before i went to bed i read this vegan booklet and the pictures were so sad. horrific. and it seriously makes me consider becoming a vegetarian again because the factors are overwhelming in favor of it. we'll see. i have to go buy tickets now.i had so much fun last night curran was reluctant about the show because of good charlotte, but it was one of the best shows i have ever been to, and i think he might be able to say the same.

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Date:2002-02-07 07:31
Subject:
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seeing rbf tonight at the house of blues in hollywood. excited. :o)

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Date:2002-02-02 16:40
Subject:
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Mood: irritated

i lost. i am not the egg queen. i am not a champion. i ate eight eggs in an hour. and i wish i would have eaten seven or nine cause "i ate eight eggs" sounds funny. and i vomited soon after. i am drinking a jamba juice and i am THIS CLOSE to getting this blind melon magazine on ebay but some conniving guy wants to take it from me and i saw it first!!!! it ends in like fifteen minutes. damn.

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Date:2002-02-01 07:20
Subject:this is insane ladies and gentlemen
Security:Public

my dad is paying me 50 bucks if i can eat 16 eggs in a half an hour. 75 bucks if i eat them in 15 minutes. love my dad cause he makes crazy bets like this. one time he asked me who the president was when nasa began and i said lyndon johnson and i was right. i got twenty bucks. and i'm trying to win a magazine on ebay. but some arsehole wants it also.

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